A few years ago, I was feeling down and unhappy. I felt like I’ve wasted a lot of my time by not being productive and consequently missed out on many opportunities. I had ambitions in life and it seems like they’re far away from becoming a reality. I hated myself because of it. Things weren’t going the way I wanted. My misery pushed me to spend up my savings recklessly.
To cope up with the sadness, I became a compulsive buyer of things that had little or no value. I remember buying an expensive coffee machine. I’ve only used it a couple of times when it was still new. I bought it because I thought it could help my mornings become extra special, and I thought that it would somewhat make me happy and help me appreciate the moment. But now it sits idly in a corner of my kitchen. I don’t even make my own coffee anymore, not even instant. There’s free coffee at the office, so why even bother make my own?
Worst of all, the thing that angered me most about myself was that I wasn’t the “ideal” Christian. I became flimsy with my prayers and neglected reading the bible.
Where was this downhearted feeling coming from?
Something was wrong with me. I knew it had nothing to do with my shortcomings regarding my future plans. I had failures but I wasn’t a total failure in life. I’ve always had more than what I need and always had something to look forward to (thank God for that). So why hate myself? Why be angry? Why worry and be anxious about life?
It didn’t take too long for me to seek inspiration from the saints. I started researching about different saints and even purchased books about them. I learned that all the saints were joyful in their day-to-day lives. Saint Pio said “Pray, hope, and do not worry”. Saint Francis of Assisi joyfully sang his praises to the Lord even in the midst of having nothing. But why were they that joyful and happy? Why are they content with their lives even to the point of having nothing?
Finally I realized that I had too much pride in my heart. That those saints rejected the sin of pride and only had humility at every moment and turn. Thus allowing the Holy Spirit do great things and achievements for them. Their humility opened their hearts for more love which allowed them to do the most impossible of works.
Pride destroys, Humility fulfills!
It was my hidden pride that caused so much unnecessary frustrations. Frustrations that ultimately lead to reckless behavior. From pride sprang forth other sins, such as anger, which manifested in my mood swings that indirectly affected my relationship with friends and family. Gluttony which manifested in my food cravings and unhealthy weight gain. Envy, which made me insecure and look at the lives of others as being “better” than mine.
Unchecked pride almost destroyed my physical and mental health, my relationships, and my finances. I was often unhappy because my pride belittled myself. It belittled my life, what I had, and how “christian” I was.
We must be more conscious about this sin and how it creeps in every aspect of our lives. Humility in a sincere heart is the key. Humility is what pushes pride away and enables us to rebuild our lives with hope and dependence on our God. And with God, all things are possible!
From nothing, God created everything. Therefore, God is the fulfillment of all things, including the very purpose of our lives. Humility is the foundation of great achievements.
Some might argue that there are many people in this world who have achieved great things not by humility but with force and power. But I’d say that even if you’ve lived your whole life with unfailing achievements, it’s all in vain without humility. For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, but lose his soul? (Mark 8:36)
Pride is the beginning of a man’s destruction before God, but to the one who is humble he is exalted by God himself.