If you’re thinking of going to Confession, it is good to be humble and understand that Jesus died for our sins. He is willing to give you a new start and a new heart if you are willing enough to repent and have His priest absolve you from your sins. No matter who you are, what your past was, or what you have done, the mercy of Christ is like an ocean that will drown your demons. This is such a great grace that most of us feel unworthy of having. And because of this, we fail to receive what Christ desires to give us. Our very doubts and hesitation hinders us for such a beautiful blessing.
The truth is that nobody is really worthy. It is the grace of God that makes us worthy and His grace is always enough for us to practice true humility without self-hatred. Remember this the next time you hesitate in going to Confession, when your mind tells you that you are “not yet ready” or “unworthy”.
Nobody can ever be worthy by his own deeds. Everything comes from God, including the peace we yearn for ourselves.
You must get rid of negative thoughts
You must rid yourself of those thoughts that deprive you of your peace. The things that take away the peace of your soul does not come from God. So it’s time to be mindful of the things you watch or listen to.
Many online contents or media are so influential to our emotions and sentiments. Ask yourself if the contents you consume are even good for your mind and soul. If not, stop viewing them. How many videos online have you watched that have unnecessarily put your emotions in a negative heap? Remember that if our faith is like a mustard seed that can grow to become a tree, our sins too can come from something seemingly small that can end up growing to ruin our peace.
Look for a good spiritual director
Sometimes it’s not enough that we “self-heal” our problems. A very sick person needs to go to a doctor. Same goes for our spiritual illnesses. If we try to heal ourselves, we might be biased and still have reservations for our issues. Much like a gambling addict who knows he has a problem but thinks he can still win back all his losses with one more win.
We need to tell our spiritual doctors, priests, the things that are ruining our spiritual peace. Their prayers for you, and the application of the Holy Sacraments, are a big help for your soul.
Your gloominess might be a sign of your pride
Gloominess and depression is the dark smoke that suffocates us out of the flames of our pride. Forbid yourself from unnecessarily going through it. Try to fight it. Try to fight your pride. Remember that at times, sinning is part of our nature, and we can never be perfect without the grace of God.
Yes, your sins have degraded your peace, but do not think that you must be first incapable of sinning before you ask for God’s grace. This too is pride. It blinds us.
Stop over thinking about your fallen nature
Self-hatred will never direct you to the right path. Your crushing thoughts will only overwhelm you and can even be the cause of further bad decisions. Christ wants to forgive you so that you may forget the old self and be ready for the greater blessings. That is His promise.
Never lose hope in God
Do not be discouraged. Don’t let the feelings of hypocrisy immobilize your spiritual fight. Stop thinking that you will make the same bad decisions again. Stop reasoning that “that’s just who I am.” Many more defeats may still come in your life, but to have hope in God while in the most downtrodden stages of our lives is the first real blessing of a sure victory.
Pray, hope, and do not worry!St. Padre Pio