Fear the Lord or Love the Lord: Which One is Correct?

Both “fear the Lord” and “love the Lord” are Biblical commands that at first may seem contradictory but actually complement each other in our spiritual journey. While some may wonder if it’s possible to both fear and love God, a deeper look at the Scriptures and teachings of the Church reveals that these two qualities, rather than opposing each other, actually enrich our relationship with Him. In fact, by understanding the true meanings of holy fear and love for God, we find they lead us toward the virtue of humility, which opens the door to a fuller, more virtuous life.

The Call to Fear and Love God in Scripture

The Bible contains numerous verses instructing us to both fear and love God. Proverbs 9:10 tells us, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,” while in Deuteronomy 6:5, we are commanded, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might.” At first glance, it’s easy to see why people might find these teachings challenging to reconcile. How can we wholeheartedly love a God we’re also instructed to fear?

This tension dissolves when we understand that “fear” in this context does not mean the dread of harm but rather an awe and reverence for God’s majesty and justice. This reverence springs from a profound respect and acknowledgment of God’s sovereignty over all things, helping us to recognize our own human limitations and imperfections. In contrast, the love of God is rooted in our recognition of His boundless mercy and grace, qualities that inspire us to draw close to Him with gratitude and affection. Together, these teachings remind us that God is both our Creator, worthy of reverence, and our loving Father, deserving of our hearts.

The Virtue of Humility: Reconciling Fear and Love

One way to understand how fear and love work together in our relationship with God is through the virtue of humility. St. Thomas Aquinas speaks extensively on humility, describing it as the “foundation of all virtues” because it rightly orders our relationship with God and others. Humility allows us to acknowledge God’s greatness and our need for Him, without falling into the extremes of servile fear or over-familiarity.

As Aquinas teaches, “Humility consists in keeping oneself within one’s own bounds, not reaching out to things above one, but submitting to one’s superior.” True humility enables us to approach God with reverence (fear) and trust (love). By humbling ourselves before God, we open ourselves to both fear and love without contradiction. This humility teaches us that we are not God, yet we are deeply loved by Him.

Do Not Be Afraid: The Call to Courage

The Bible also gives us a third instruction: “Do not be afraid.” When Jesus appeared to His disciples after the Resurrection, He said, “Do not be afraid” (Matthew 28:10), and the angel Gabriel said the same to Mary at the Annunciation (Luke 1:30). This command encourages us to approach God without dread or trepidation, for fear without love can lead to a distorted view of God as merely punitive or distant.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that “Filial fear is a gift of the Holy Spirit” (CCC 1831), meaning that it’s a fear that arises not from dread, but from love, respect, and the desire to live according to God’s will. By this form of fear, we stand in awe of God’s greatness and love, helping us cultivate a relationship with Him that is honest, reverent, and heartfelt.

The Witness of the Saints: Balancing Fear and Love

Many saints found themselves walking the path between holy fear and love, teaching us by their lives how to embrace both. St. Augustine once wrote, “If you fear the Lord, you will fear no other; but if you do not fear the Lord, you will fear everything.” This illustrates the kind of liberating fear that arises when we place God above all things. It’s a fear that leads us not to shrink away but to lean into God’s love more confidently.

St. Teresa of Ávila also speaks of the love that casts out all unhealthy fears, saying, “Let nothing disturb you, let nothing frighten you. All things are passing; God never changes.” Her words remind us that the fear we are called to is one grounded in love—a fear that draws us closer to God, not further away.

How Fear and Love Lead to Virtue

As we grow in our fear and love of God, we begin to see how these qualities cultivate other virtues within us. Holy fear keeps us in awe of God’s majesty, prompting us to strive for holiness. Love moves us to seek closeness with God, urging us to love Him in return by obeying His commandments. When combined, fear and love produce a balanced spiritual life marked by humility, courage, and trust. In humility, we learn to recognize God’s power and our dependence on Him. In courage, we act out of love, serving others without hesitation.

Embracing Both Fear and Love of the Lord

For those who struggle to balance fear and love of the Lord, the path forward is to embrace both with a humble heart. God does not want us to live in paralyzing fear but instead calls us to a relationship marked by reverence, love, and trust. As we grow in humility, we become more aware of God’s greatness and goodness, allowing us to both love Him as a Father and revere Him as our Creator.

When we truly “fear the Lord” in this way, we do not hide from Him but draw nearer. And in loving Him, we cast out unhealthy fears that distance us from His grace. Fear and love, then, are not at odds but are essential aspects of a life lived for God—one that leads to peace, virtue, and the joy of knowing we are held by a God who is both all-powerful and all-loving.